Friday, 17 April 2009
Are You Brave Enough To Be Free?
Why are we in pain? Why do we feel weighed down? Why, why, why?
In 2005, I recall discussing the Feeling Exercise, by Arnold Patent, with Paul Scheele. At the time, I had not yet awakened to the truth of life, and did not appreciate the full value. Now, I can see the great value in that exercise, and in hindsight it forms very similar steps to the ones I went through unconsciously during my awakening.
So, I find that this little exercise has been neglected generally, and offer it here, in Arnold's words:
http://www.arnoldpatent.com/messages/5-15-2000.html (Read the steps of the exercise before going on to my commentary.)
It is counterintuitive in that you explore the feelings which we habitually label as bad and attempt to avoid. This resistance actually solidifies the lump of awareness trapped around a thought. That is what happens when we believe and attach to a thought, unconsciously identifying with it. The feeling acts as a signalling device that tells us we are still struggling. Hence, we see that suffering is nothing more than a feedback device telling us we are travelling further away from the fundamentally empty nature of reality.
When we feel the feeling free of any labels or thoughts, we experience it as it is. Allowing yourself to feel the feeling rewires your neural network, opening up your behavioural blocks and thus the ability of your conscious awareness to dance through reality. Some of these blocks are deeply ingrained, which is why it may feel miserable to do it, because so many thoughts are screaming at you not to do exactly what this exercise requires. When I went through my (involuntary) purification process, I felt completely miserable, but I was too tired to run anymore, and so I turned to face my demons. And you know, when I faced them, they disappeared. The pockets of belief evaporated, even as I sat in the feelings of despair and accepted it.
And loving the feeling is nothing more than a recognition that the feeling is emitted from your own awareness, tied in a knot. Feeling appreciation for it releases the resistance. And the purpose of the exercise is to experience the love, not to analyse it. I place these comments here in the wish that those who are unsure of their experience may compare it and do whatever they choose to do, not a manual which one constantly refers to.
Feeling love for yourself is a process of being kind, to yourself. Stop beating yourself up. As you merge with the feeling, your separated awareness merges with the knotted feeling. And sitting in the feeling is often enough to dissipate the energy. This is the reassurance you give yourself as the process takes place. It takes courage to be free. It takes courage to expose our deepest vulnerabilities and let it open. It is like unbandaging a hidden, deep wound, and trusting someone to touch it. We are habitually tender, and sore, and the mind screams that it is unsafe. Yet, this is how one heals the inner wounds.
You were born free. Are you brave enough to be free?